Lucky Me

So I wasn't retrenched today!

Weird statement I know, so I'll rewind a little. The department I work in is at best a lame duck and as of today is officially a dead duck My client slipped into my bosses office this afternoon to explain that the company has had cut backs and the "Duck" department has been culled with immediate effect.

My line manager and I were called in to be told that luckily two people had resigned this month in other departments so we are being moved BUT and here's the big but, if they hadn't resigned we would be retrenched.

I know somewhere I breathed a sigh of relief. Probably the rationale, I have to pay the bills me said "Thank God" but the creative me was disappointed because the creative me has been suffocating in the duck pond for way too long and I probably would be pushed even harder in the new directions I am tentatively pointed in if I was retrenched.

I do get to try my hand at a new position but I hate the place I work. I know hate is a strong word but the crap I have endured over the last couple of months just makes me not trust anyone there. I even feel nervous putting these words down in case I am being spied on.(okay having read the preview of this it sounds a little paranoid and very whiny but I'm leaving it in because its true)

It sucks! really it sucks a lot to hate your job. You spend so much of your time there it seems like its only fair that you should at least like what you do. The sad thing is a lot of people don't like what they do and that makes me feel really sad for them.

I would also caution that there is no point doing a job you hate your whole life because you only have one life and chances are if you don't like doing something you're probably not going to be all that good at it anyway.

So here's the thing, I didn't get retrenched today and I am glad I am not unemployed but it also made me realize that I don't care enough about this job and before I become completely despondent I neeeeeeeeeeeeeed to get a new job.