unbelievable

It seems almost insane that you can know someone for a long time and not KNOW them. My boyfriend's sister also has a blog and I began reading it yesterday.

Its amazing- how well she writes, how sincere she is and well unbelievable. I feel in awe of her and its not because she is a model or because she married the man of her dreams or that she has a beautiful house in the city but because she is real and kind and caring and completely down to earth.

In a way she is the kind of glamorous I aspire to be. The kind of woman that is happy because she chose to be.

I feel like everyday I get better at being that kind of woman but it helps a whole lot if someone you know who has achieved the kind of personal success has also gone through times where she doubted herself.

I think it is hard enough to be a young woman these days without having someone to look up to and who can encourage you by just being themselves.

Body for life

I hate my mother for being right - You dont appreciate what you've got till its gone.

Somewhere between 21 and 28 I have gained more than 12kgs and the only excuse I have is laziness.

Well having said this I have committed to begin body for life on the 1st October. This may be the most challenging thing I have ever done for two reasons.

1. discipline is not my thing
2. I like sleeping in ( although I think that may be directly related to point number one)

I have never stayed on any kind of diet for longer than a couple hours and, well, ...exercise is something I  heard other people do.

I am also going to give up smoking - which really is the least of my worries.

My biggest concern is that I have told everyone I know that I am going on this life changing programme.
I know subconciously I did it so that it would be a bigger reason to follow through. I am ashamed to say that thinking that people saw me as a failure is more soul destroying to me than if I actually did fail at something and no one knew about it.

However, my number one reason for getting into shape is to be certain that if my long term boyfriend leaves me in the new year I will at least look sexy and devastated rather than fat and devastated.

It seems a strange reasoning but we have a strange relationship - one that many friends and family members have told me to walk away from- but foolishly and blindly I find myself in love.

Rainy days

I am a big fan of rainy days- I very rarely complain that its miserable weather. I dont know why really. I like being able to stay in and snuggle. I guess it may also be because I am not exactly Miss outdoors.

When I was younger I tried every sport my 11 schools had to offer. Most of the time I came up short but I definitely get an A for effort. When I was about 11 I told my mom I wanted to do ballet, so she enrolled me in a ballet class and after about a month it became clear I was not cut out for the grace and agility required for this art form. my mother, rather than allow me to embarrass myself at recitals etc. encouraged me to try netball instead.

I was very pleased with myself when i made the under 12A team as goal defense ( I have a whole host of thoughts on this sport but its not for this particular blog) anyway I practiced my little eleven year old heart out until our first match.

I was defending the goal in that ridiculous way you do in netball by standing on one leg waving aimlessly at the ball, when the goal shooter took her shot. We all leaped in the air to get the rebound (she missed)- when I heard my mother say quite loudly " Now why couldn't she be this graceful in ballet?" Her rhetorical question was answered almost immediately as I land not so graciously on the goal shooter and fell twisting my ankle so badly I missed the rest of the netball season.

Eventually I found a sport that I could do that meant very little injury and no need for grace ( at least nothing you could see above the water). I swam throughout my school career and even swam the Midmar mile twice. which brings me back to rainy days...

Thunder showers, the sea, long swims and getting caught in the rain definitely some of my favourite things.

Defining me

I have started many blogs and have never gotten past the third entry. my hope is to not do that this time.

I decided sometime over the past month between having surgery and fearing that I might have cancer -which thankfully I do not - that there is little sense in doing something everyday or at least five days out of your week that you really dont enjoy.

The strange thing is is that I dont hate my job and most days I actually like what I do. Its exciting and can be challenging. You see I am in advertising!

I think the most interesting thing about any day at the company I work at is seeing what outrageous thing any given person I work with will do that day.

Its almost guaranteed that someone will do something that will leave me utterly flabbergasted and completely unsure as to why I continue dragging myself out of bed every morning to be subjected to this madness.

The point of this blog, however, is not only to give me an outlet to the stress caused by my occupation but also to give me practice on a daily basis with the thing that really does make me happy.

Writing...