Missing

Its really weird how down I feel when bear is not around, he is in Durbs and will be until the 18th and only going to see him again on the 20th. I dont like not being able to give him a hug or have in bed next to me. I love when he calls and we can chat but its just not the same as having him right here with me.

The thing that makes me feel the best when we're together is just having his arms around me- ewww sounds so corny! BUT really there is something so amazing about having a partner in your life. Somebody you can share things with - good or bad!

I also know yesterday's post was written awfully and this one is not very soulful either but I needed to say that BEAR I really MISS you!

Alcohol

I have a bad relationship with alcohol,To often have I gotten so drunk that I don't remember what I did and what I did is normally bone crushingly embarrassing. I also have a bit of a will power problem as well. Naturally the way to deal with this problem would be to not drink at all but I keep making the same mistake and I am quite tired of it.

I am not like most people, who A. know there limits and B. don't become a whole different person when they drink. I think realistically the problem is genetic. My father is an alcoholic and I think that I probably will always have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.

I also think its about time I make a commitment to stop drinking. it keeps messing up my life - well I keep messing up my life with alcohol. I have to be honest if the most recent incident means I lose my job I really don't mind because I am so over it but I really am over the drinking.