Opportunities

Bear (my Boyfriend) may have landed himself the best opportunity and I am excited for him. I feel like the doors are opening for the both of us. We spent about an hour in the bath tonight(our time to catch up on each others news) talking about how to make both our careers more successful. I have not seen him motivated like this for months and I feel great because he has great things on the horizon.

The truth is he has been battling to get his own business started for over a year now and I was getting really worried that he had run out of steam and now the new opportunity is flexible on his time so he can work on both.

We do not have a perfect relationship by a long shot but I love him very much and I want him to be happy and let me tell you a man without a purpose will never be a happy man. Its amazing really, I don't think I would feel bewildered and unimportant if I did not have work, I would be happy adding value by keeping the home clean and nice to live in but that may be because I am a woman and I am defined by so many more things than just my career. Just is the wrong word, I think what I meant to say was 1st. I'm not sure.

As a woman you can have so many titles, mother, sister, lover, Mrs, Miss, Mzz, Doctor, Your Honour and not one of the titles will ever be the sole defining element of who you are, but I have learnt from watching my father be unemployed for years and with Bear struggling with his company a man cannot fulfill any of his other designations adequately if he has not achieved something in his career.

Perhaps that's a generalisation or perhaps its just the men who feature in my life but the fact remains we all define ourselves by the things we do, the families we belong to, the friends we have etc. and while women can feel whole without a career (many girls I know just have jobs) it seems men cannot.

I understand it as men are taught to be providers and I like that, I like the idea that the guy I am with wants to provide for himself and for me. I am ambitious but as I grow older and have children I don't want to have to work. So I believe in supporting a man in reaching his career goals because I think you will end up with a happier husband/partner and a better relationship.

I know feminists around the world would gouge my eyes out with the previous statement but they would be making a mistake. I don't think my only role is supporting my man but it is an important role, just as your partner should support you in the way you need to be supported (its different for everybody I think).

At the end of the day what i am trying to say is Bear's happiness gets me one step closer to Greece:-)