Im sitting in an office in Durban and I just feel sad. Sad because the thought that keeps bubbling in mind and has been for weeks is that you are moving on and I dont know how to. Its sad that I remain so dedicated to you and that my heart is still yours. Sad that even though my head knows its over my heart is still hopeful. I love you and I will probably always love you. I miss you and I do wish that we could be together again. I have wanted to say this so desperately but its inappropriate so I'l say here in the anonymous ether of the internet.
I want to stop being sad but I know if I do it'll be over forever and I am not ready for that and thats why I think I am hanging onto hope and the love I feel. It is so incredibly painful I am often crippled by it but feeling something is better than nothing at all.
Unfortunately I can not really continue with this post but I will soon.
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